


clown wars

by Takene_ne



Category: DCU, Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Humor, Jealousy, Jeremiah likes to piss people off, Jerome is a possessive bastard, M/M, Psychopaths In Love, but they're also idiots, now: FIGHT!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25884097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takene_ne/pseuds/Takene_ne
Summary: Someone touched what’sJerome’swhile he was away and he is NOT happy about that. Time to pay, suckers!
Relationships: Jeremiah Valeska/Bruce Wayne, Jerome Valeska/Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle/Bridgit Pike
Comments: 4
Kudos: 84





	clown wars

Jerome was away. For a few weeks.

His last, spectacular performance included a lick of laughing gas, exploding shopping mall and an elephant. So he was away. It was easier to just… disappear into the main land and lay low for a bit. Just enough to wait for things to calm down again.

It was a good plan. Let all hell break loose, mock the authorities via well-timed broadcast and immediately go under. A classic.

It all went according to plan! Exactly as he expected. To the T!

What Jerome did NOT expect — _at all_ — was **THIS**.

This… this ATROCITY!

Because here he is, freshly returned to his favorite playground, ready to take in stride the fallout and the glory that awaited with it. Only to be welcomed by THIS.

Ooooooh, this won’t fly.

Jerome will make sure of it!

* * *

He corners snarky cat-girl first.

She doesn’t look up from her pigeon crates when Jerome leans into her space. Breathes into her neck.

“It wasn’t me, clown boy. Go. Away.”

Jerome goes. She’s scary like that. And Firefly would be upset if he maimed her girlfriend. Jerome very badly does NOT want to face upset Firefly.

So he goes. Shrugs. There are other candidates.

It was worth a try.

* * *

Barbara doesn’t appreciate property damage _or_ men. Jerome does his best not to appear menacing. Well. More than usual.

He even bows, ha! And — _goodness gracious!_ — he is very good at bows. Tabby snorts at his courtesy from behind the bar. He can tell she’s polishing her whip. It’s a very nice whip. Jerome would not want his neck to get reacquainted with it. No sir.

He swallows. Loudly.

Tabby scoffs again and puts down her whip. She pours him a drink. Jerome hopes it’s strong. It is.

“Your lover boy wasn’t here, kiddo,” she says amused. Jerome isn’t sure if news should travel this fast, but. It _is_ why people come to the Sirens, so. He finishes his drink. He will look elsewhere.

Tabby actually laughs when he bows them goodbye.

“Try the rich kid!” Barbara shouts from her throne when he’s at the door.

Oh, Jerome _will_.

* * *

The rich kid almost faints the second Jerome makes himself known. Stupid. You don’t walk Gotham alone if you can’t take a bit of mugging. Everybody knows that!

Rich kid _squeals_ when Jerome puts a knife to his throat. It’s not a nice sound. Very unmanly. Jerome doesn’t believe this… this _lump of warm jell-o_ was capable of stealing what is rightfully his. Never ever. Jerome clicks his tongue. He stabs the kid only a little before he stalks away. He’ll live. Maybe.

But that means.

That means there is only _one_ possible culprit.

One that Jerome dreaded the most. _Hates_ the most.

One that will soon bitterly regret ever putting his claws on what is Jerome’s and _Jerome’s only._

And it will HURT.

Jerome will greatly enjoy it.

* * *

Jerome storms into his brother’s latest hideout — A church. Really, Jeremiah? _A church??_ — all blazing guns, vengeance and furious anger.

He blasts half of the creepy stalker’s monitors to smithereens before Jeremiah can even whine in surprise, Firefly half a step behind him and more than ready to set the place ablaze. Filthy adulterers inside or not.

Jeremiah blinks at the display, unimpressed. Jerome’s blood boils.

It was boiling _before,_ but now his veins are filled with nothing but _livid bubbles._

Someone is going to pay. And Jerome just happens to know _who_.

“Hello brother,” Jerome spits through his teeth, his fury alive under his skin and ready to BURST.

Jeremiah’s eyebrow twitches. That bastard. Jerome shoots his laptop. He hopes there was something important on there.

“How DARE YOU defile what’s mine!” Jerome snaps. He takes a step closer. Decides that blowing Jeremiah’s brains out is too quick a death. Entirely too merciful. Better strangle the pest, yes. Yes.

“You left.”

A curve of a lip.

“And?”

An echo of a shrug.

“You _left_.”

Narrowing of the eyes.

Jimbo fucking dam _mit_.

Jerome lowers his gun. Deflates. Slumps against Firefly’s shoulder. She snarls at him so he slumps against Jeremiah’s instead.

“Does this mean we’ll have to share now?”

Jeremiah smirks.

_Jimbo_ _fucking_ **_dammit_.**

“I hate you, brother.”

Jeremiah pats his cheek.

“I know.“

* * *

In Wayne Manor Bruce Wayne puts make-up over the hickey on his jaw and wonders how long will it take Jerome to hunt him down, now that he’s back in town. And if he’ll take Jeremiah with him.

Bruce smirks.

Hopefully, it will be a _long_ night.

**Author's Note:**

> This just happened. I don’t make the rulez <3


End file.
